Chapter 85: Don’t You Find It Ridiculous?

She unconsciously touched her neck, unsure of the reason, her heart flickering with anxiety.

Not long after, Qingrui returned.

She looked at Shen Nanyuan and gently shook her head. “Miss, he won’t leave.”

“He insists on seeing you just once, to confirm with his own eyes that you’re unharmed before he goes.”

He must already have heard of what happened—her falling into the water at the palace.

Qingrui pressed her lips together, keeping to herself the sight she’d witnessed: Jun Ci, haggard and humble, a look she had never seen before, so worn and lowly that she couldn’t help but stare in astonishment.

Jun Ci, exhausted and unyielding, pleaded, “Let me see her just once. The moment I see her, I’ll leave, not staying a moment more.”

So humble, so diminished, she wondered for a moment if this was truly that proud, aloof Young Master Jun.

How the tables had turned.

Xiao Yan lowered his eyes, a faint chill flickering in their depths, though his voice remained calm. “Miss, you mustn’t go.”

He had seen Jun Ci a few times, and with each meeting, it was clear that the way Jun Ci looked at Shen Nanyuan had changed—from mild curiosity, to growing focus, and then, during the Lantern Festival, his feelings had become impossible to conceal.

He watched her constantly, the affection and concern in his gaze plain to see, filling Xiao Yan with a powerful sense of threat—one he’d never even felt in the presence of the Second Prince.

It consumed him, a suffocating unease winding through his heart like creeping vines, so much so that he wanted to seize Shen Nanyuan and lock her away, refusing to let her see Jun Ci at all.

But Shen Nanyuan did not heed his advice. After a moment’s thought, she stood up. “Let’s go. I happen to have a few words to say to him as well.”

Xiao Yan froze, as if struck hard by an invisible blow. Panic and uncontrollable anger surged within him. He pressed his lips tightly together, watching her walk ahead. Instinctively, his hand reached out to stop her, but halted midair, and he remained rooted to the spot, every muscle tense as he watched her grow smaller in the distance. After a moment’s struggle, he forced himself to follow.

He had no authority now to prevent Shen Nanyuan from meeting Jun Ci.

He was only a servant.

And what could a servant say?

Outside the gates of the Duke Protector's residence, Jun Ci stood, worn and weary, his eyes tinged red from sleeplessness, his worry irrepressible. Hearing footsteps, he looked up and met a pair of dark, almond-shaped eyes glimmering with a cold, emotionless light—familiar, yet distant.

It had been so long since he’d seen her. In the past, he’d have wished never to see her again. If she didn’t seek him out, he would never have gone to her on his own initiative.

A sudden pain struck his chest, and his throat tightened. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, about to speak, but she cut him off.

“Young Master Jun, let’s speak elsewhere.”

Shen Nanyuan glanced at the passersby lingering not far away, frowned, and continued, “If anyone sees the two of us standing together, the news will spread through the capital in no time.”

She had no desire to become the topic of idle gossip among the city’s residents.

Jun Ci glanced back, then walked after her down a secluded side path. He could sense a cold gaze fixed on him, but when he looked up, he saw only the bodyguard following close at Shen Nanyuan’s side, as if afraid he might do something untoward.

Shen Nanyuan stopped and turned to look at the silent Jun Ci, her voice soft.

“Young Master Jun.”

Jun Ci’s gaze fixed on her, his lips pressed tightly together. The bloodshot veins in his eyes were clear to see, as if he hadn’t slept at all.

“You…”

He stopped abruptly, a self-mocking smile tugging at his lips. With her standing before him, alive and well, what was the point of asking after her health? His mind went blank; the questions he’d rehearsed a thousand times during his anxious rush here were meaningless the moment he set eyes on her.

Though the incident of the Lady of Yong’an falling into the water had been suppressed by the royal family, he and his father had still heard rumors. He hadn’t slept all night. Since the last time her arm was injured, the worry and longing that had been suppressed in his heart now surged forth, leaving him helpless, unable to think. On hearing she’d returned to the Duke Protector’s residence, he’d hurried over without delay.

But at the gate, he was stopped by the guards.

In the past, thanks to Shen Nanyuan, entry to the Duke Protector’s residence had been simple for him. He’d only ever been dragged there by his father on occasion. Even if he visited rarely, the guards had always recognized him and allowed him in.

Now, thinking back, it had been a long time since he’d last entered those doors.

All he felt was emptiness and loss. He forced a dry smile and said quietly, “Seeing that you’re well, I can set my mind at ease.”

Shen Nanyuan frowned at his haggard appearance, feeling somewhat uncomfortable.

The first time she’d met him, he’d been lofty and disdainful, his face full of contempt and aversion. Compared to the man before her now, it was as if he were a different person entirely.

Seeing his current state, and that he’d insisted on seeing her, Shen Nanyuan was certain—Jun Ci now liked her.

But what of it?

She was not the original Shen Nanyuan, the one who shared memories with him, who was always by his side.

In truth, even Jun Ci’s regretful affection now wasn’t for her.

What he loved was that former self, the one who had eyes only for him.

Shen Nanyuan narrowed her eyes slightly, a trace of irony in her heart. She spoke without reservation, her tone detached.

“Young Master Jun, do you have feelings for me?”

At these words, not only did Jun Ci freeze, but even Xiao Yan’s gaze fixed sharply on her.

Jun Ci felt his breath catch, his exposed feelings thrown into disarray. His fingers clenched tightly, but he made no attempt to deny it.

Only after a long pause did he reply hoarsely, “Yes.”

He gazed steadily at Shen Nanyuan. “...I regret it.”

He had regretted it for so long.

Regret that woke him in the dead of night, trapped between dream and reality, his heart pounding in panic and pain until he could hardly breathe. Just as in this moment, the waves of anguish battered him relentlessly, and in his haze, all he could see was Shen Nanyuan.

It seemed only she could soothe the ache in his heart.

This was the answer Shen Nanyuan had expected.

Her tone remained calm, unmoved by his words.

“Young Master Jun, it was you who wished to break off the engagement, you who always sought to be rid of me. And now you say you regret it…”

She curled her lips in a mocking smile. “Don’t you find that rather ridiculous?”