Chapter Nineteen – Uncontrollable Emotions

Yishu didn't fall asleep until dawn was breaking.

Yan Lu hadn't come home all night.

In the morning, when Yishu opened the bedroom door, she saw Yan Lu sprawled on the sofa, her clothes in disarray. The entire apartment reeked of alcohol.

Yishu hurried to draw back the curtains and open both the window and the glass door, letting the outside air sweep away the stifling fumes.

"What on earth did you get up to last night?" Yishu tugged at Yan Lu, who lay limp on the sofa.

Seeing her in such a sorry state, countless images flashed through Yishu's mind, piecing together possibilities—surely she hadn't been... She forced herself not to finish the thought.

But Yan Lu was incoherent, unable to answer questions. Yishu had no choice but to help her up, slinging Yan Lu’s left arm over her shoulder and guiding her into the bedroom. Then Yishu went to the bathroom, filled a basin, and gently wiped her friend's face and hands.

"Xugao, don't go… Gouzi, don't go," Yan Lu muttered, half asleep and talking nonsense.

Lu Xugao?

Yishu remembered their brief encounter at the skewer restaurant—the new delivery boy at Kaisheng, Lu Xuyang's cousin. That was all she knew. Nothing more.

Thinking back, there had been nothing remarkable about him. In Yishu’s eyes, Yan Lu was a bona fide beauty. Even if every piece of clothing she wore had been a bargain from the internet, they were lent an air of sophistication by her unique allure. Every gesture was as light as a breeze; every smile as gentle as dawn or dusk. Of course, that was only when Yan Lu was being quiet and composed.

Lu Xugao, in contrast, was unremarkable, with a face still touched by boyishness. There was nothing of the mature man about him.

Perhaps it was just his age.

"How old are you?" Yishu sized him up.

"I just turned twenty-four," Lu Xugao replied, his shyness laid bare.

Yishu was never one to beat around the bush. She went straight to the point: "Were you with Yan Lu last night?"

A flicker of panic crossed Lu Xugao’s face. "Yes. She was upset, so she asked me to drink with her. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen."

Yishu gazed at him, his earnestness almost comical, like a schoolboy eager to clear his name when wrongly accused—but it was genuine. Perhaps that sincerity was why Yan Lu got along with him.

"Did you two drink all night?" Yishu had only managed to fall asleep at dawn, so she was sure Yan Lu hadn’t come home until early morning.

"She got really drunk, and I couldn’t control her," Lu Xugao said, scratching his head, serious as ever. "I wanted to take her to a hotel, but I didn’t feel right leaving her alone. If I’d stayed, it might have damaged her reputation."

Hearing this, Yishu’s worries were fully put to rest. Yan Lu had chosen her company well. Thankfully, Yishu herself hadn’t lost her temper without cause.

"Is it okay for me to like Yan Lu?"

Yishu had already walked away when Lu Xugao’s voice rang out behind her, loud and desperate.

He dashed up to her, panting. "Is it okay for me to like Yan Lu?"

Yishu was taken aback by such a blunt, unguarded question. She hadn’t expected it at all.

After a pause, she asked, "She’s older than you. It’s only about a year, but when it comes to matters of the heart, age is more than just a number. Can you give her what she wants?"

"I’ve never believed age is a barrier to love," Lu Xugao answered solemnly.

Yishu looked at him and saw a certain resilience in his eyes. Was that a sign of maturity? She wasn’t sure. But she was certain she had seen the same quality in Xu Shixi’s gaze.

Yishu nodded. "All I can say is I won’t interfere."

When it comes to matters of the heart, only the one experiencing them knows their true warmth or chill.

Pressed for time, Yishu couldn’t check on Yan Lu before work. She caught the next bus, lost in thought all day.

She kept replaying the events of the previous night and this morning.

A few foreign customers came in during the day, speaking awkward English. Yishu brushed off her long-unused language skills and did her best to communicate. She realized that talents once sharp, if neglected for years, inevitably grow dull.

The foreigners were not easy to please. They even tried out their odd-sounding Chinese, haggling over prices. From their conversation, Yishu gathered that these men were in the business of overseas shopping. If she didn’t slash prices to the bone, once shipping and customs were factored in, the cost of the curtains would be astronomical.

When Yishu wouldn’t budge, they switched to playing hard to get. Left with no choice, Yishu called Liu Hanzhang to get approval for a lower price. Earning less was better than not earning at all.

This was Yishu’s guiding principle.

Meanwhile, at Xunyuan, the atmosphere in the planning department was especially tense and heavy.

Xu Shixi, usually reserved but not severe, now looked grim, cold, and forbidding.

As he passed through the office, every head was bowed, not daring to meet his gaze. Yet it was as if all eyes sprouted on the tops of their heads, sneaking fearful glances at the office opposite, treading on eggshells.

Xu Shixi strode in with his briefcase.

His assistant, Xiao Ye, as always, entered carrying freshly brewed coffee.

Just as everyone was bracing for something to happen, Xiao Ye emerged with a calm expression.

Qiao Siming, who always fancied himself Xu Shixi’s confidant and friend, felt no need to be cautious.

Just as people were convinced nothing would happen, Qiao Siming, looking utterly different, walked out as well.

At lunch, they didn’t sit together.

Normally, they’d head to the canteen on the second floor as a pair. This time, they were separated by twenty minutes.

"Shixi, over here!" Qiao Siming craned his neck, waving his chopsticks vigorously.

He had never hidden their friendship. From his first day at the company, he’d let everyone know exactly who he was to Xu Shixi. He valued their friendship and never cared about anyone’s envy.

Office gossip circulated about the two of them. Of course, after last night, those rumors had collapsed. Yet as one mystery was solved, another emerged—if they were just friends, who would be content to always play second fiddle?

Xu Shixi ignored him, carrying his tray to another table.

The canteen was spacious, with people scattered in corners, making the place seem empty and cold.

"You’re really petty," Qiao Siming grumbled, slamming his nearly empty tray on the table and splattering a few drops of soup. "You’re mad at me over something so trivial."

Xu Shixi shot him a glare. To him, this was no small matter.

Jokes had to have limits.

But on second thought, perhaps he should thank Qiao Siming for his “help” in pushing things forward.

"Fine," Qiao Siming conceded, grumbling. "It was my fault, I was careless, I didn’t think it through."

Such a half-hearted apology didn’t move Shixi at all.

But now, an apology hardly mattered.

Looking back, he could scarcely believe himself capable of saying what he’d said last night.

If only he’d found that courage years earlier, perhaps things would have turned out differently.

Looking at the overgrown child on the other side of the table, so quick to admit his mistakes, Shixi couldn’t stay angry. "Eat up and get back to work."

His tone was still stiff, but Qiao Siming knew the anger had passed. He picked up his tray with one hand and floated off, heels barely touching the ground.

After work, as usual, Xu Shixi went to pick up Yishu. Their offices were close together, but the evening rush turned a three-kilometer drive from Yue’an Road to Yuyang Road into a half-hour ordeal.

Yishu was impatient. She hadn’t been able to reach Yan Lu all day.

Seeing Yishu so anxious, Xu Shixi couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy.

"You really care about your friend," he remarked casually.

"She’s always looked out for me, even more than I have for her," Yishu replied, leaning back in her seat as if lost in memory.

"Is she very important to you?" Xu Shixi’s tone was indifferent, his eyes fixed on the road.

Yishu sat up straight, hands braced on the chair. There was an unspoken implication in his words.

He was jealous.

An hour earlier, he’d called to invite her to dinner, but she’d declined, using her friend’s illness as an excuse.

Yishu gazed straight ahead. "You’re very important to me."

She used the word "very," not "also." In her mind, "also" would have implied that, compared to her, he was only slightly less important, relegated to second place—a thought untrue to her heart. Words like "most" or "more" might stress his importance, but would sound contrived and insincere.

A broad smile broke across Shixi’s face, so wide Yishu could see it from the side.

The car moved slowly through the last rays of sunset.

Day by day, their bond grew closer.

It seemed that, since that night, all uncertainties, all worries, all hesitations had melted away—gone without a trace.