Chapter Twenty — Love Begins Unknowingly

The moment the door opened, a faint trace of alcohol still lingered in the air. Yan Lu had slept in until noon, then spent the afternoon at the office, arriving at the apartment an hour before Yishu.

Yishu barely had time to set down her bag before she hurried inside.
“What are you doing?” she called out.

On the small kitchen table, an array of ingredients crowded every inch, pressed up to the very edge. Yishu came closer and saw that aside from some vegetables, the meat dishes laid out on plates were all ready-made, bought from the nearby market. With a bit of extra effort, some green onions and cilantro had been sprinkled on top for garnish.

Yan Lu was at the stove, stir-frying. She glanced over her shoulder quickly before turning back. “I’m making dinner. I’ve been imposing on you every day, and I feel bad about it. I don’t have much to offer in return, so let me treat you to something I made myself.”

Yishu was taken aback. From childhood to now, Yan Lu had hardly ever cooked, barely even stepped into a kitchen—yet here she was, preparing what she believed to be a feast. “Turn off the stove for now. I have something to discuss with you.”

Yan Lu continued stirring, “It’s almost done. We can talk while we eat. Go wash your hands first, then help me bring the dishes out.”

There were six dishes in all: greens with mushrooms, eggplant with oil, spicy and sour lotus root slices, tofu with scallions, plus fried chicken pieces and cola chicken wings. The last two were simply plated takeout from a deli. As for the first four, they were passable at best.

“Can we talk now?” Yishu set her chopsticks on the bowl, ready to start eating. “What happened with you last night?”

“I went out for dinner with friends,” Yan Lu replied, eating as she spoke.

“What friends?” Yishu pressed.

Yan Lu sighed, barely swallowing her food. “I know what you’re getting at; there’s no need for this Q&A as if you’re interviewing me. I’ll be straight with you: I’m in a relationship now—with Lu Xugao. We made it official yesterday.”

Yan Lu’s frankness caught Yishu off guard. She knew Yan Lu was always bold and unrestrained, never one to hide or suppress her feelings. Yet, for someone so proud, how could she fall for someone as young and immature as Lu Xugao? To be precise, still a boy.

“Did he confess to you?” Yishu regained her composure.

“Kind of,” Yan Lu replied, picking up a piece of eggplant. “I basically forced him to.”

Forced a confession? Yishu was more confused than ever, staring at her wide-eyed. Yan Lu’s boldness usually showed itself in arguments, not matters of the heart, where she’d always maintained the reserved subtlety expected of a girl. Back in their second year of high school, she’d liked a boy from the next class who resembled a famous actor. She would deliberately pass by his window after every class, just to catch a glimpse. Then, one day, she abruptly stopped. When Yishu asked why, she answered calmly, “What isn’t yours will never belong to you.”

Yishu fell silent, letting Yan Lu continue.

Yan Lu’s face lit up with excitement. “You have no idea how adorably clueless he is. He obviously likes me, but he’s too shy to say it outright. He wants to treat me well, but has to go about it in roundabout ways.” Yan Lu grinned silly. “Do you know why I like him?”

Yishu shook her head.

“I don’t know, either,” Yan Lu replied, looking as if she were drunk, though she clearly hadn’t been drinking. Was it that sometimes, the intoxication came from within?

But in truth, Yan Lu did know the reason.

—He took her bad temper as a pleasure.

—He mistook her sharp words for gentle affection.

—He absorbed her negativity and made it his own spiritual nourishment, then held up an umbrella to shield her from the wind and rain.

And that day, when she clashed with Guo Yamei, tempers flaring, he’d stepped in to defend her. At the time, Yan Lu had blamed him for meddling, for making her lose her advantage in the argument and giving her opponent the upper hand.

“He’s still younger than you,” Yishu remarked steadily.

“So what if he is? He’s only a year younger. It’s not as if I’m ten or twenty years older—old enough to be his mother. Besides, love has nothing to do with age. There’s only love and not love. If we love each other, why shouldn’t we be together?”

Yan Lu’s passion rose as she spoke, and her appetite waned by half.

Yishu gazed quietly at the dishes on the table. Wisps of steam curled upward, drifting toward the ceiling. Outside, the wind picked up, followed by raindrops striking the glass. The air inside grew heavier, more oppressive.

“I might…” Yan Lu looked down at her hands on the table, “not be living here after tomorrow.”

Yishu snapped to attention. “Just because of what I said earlier? You’re upset?”

“No,” Yan Lu lifted her head. “I’m moving in with him. Also, Yihui’s summer break is coming up. If I stay here, he’ll have nowhere to sleep when he returns.”

Yishu was taken aback. “You’re moving in together?”

“It’s not cohabitation,” Yan Lu clarified.

Though “to live together” and “to cohabit” are similar, the latter carries different connotations—ambiguity, impropriety, even accusations of immorality.

“He has his own two-bedroom place here. We’ll have separate rooms; we’re not sharing the same room, let alone the same bed. Personally, I don’t believe in premarital sex,” Yan Lu declared.

“Oh.” Yishu regarded her, a faint gray mist rising in her eyes. Her understanding of Yan Lu seemed to require periodic updating.

Yan Lu loved bravely, loved without fear. Yishu could only admire her, silently, from a distance.

After dinner, Yishu listlessly watched videos, unsure when she drifted into sleep. When she awoke, darkness still pressed against the window.

The temperature had dropped noticeably.

The last cold snap of spring had arrived quietly.

Yishu pulled the quilt up, her feet feeling uncomfortably cold. She sneezed twice.

Yan Lu had vanished early, leaving only a farewell note on the table:

—I’m gone.

Three words, brief and to the point.

She had expected Yan Lu would leave, just not so soon. Yishu glanced around the room, feeling as if something was missing, though nothing seemed out of place. Yan Lu had only ever meant to stay temporarily, so she hadn’t brought much.

Yishu picked up the clock at her bedside to check the time.

Six o’clock.

She could sleep another hour.

In the midst of deep sleep, a knock sounded at the door. Despite two doors and two walls, it was loud and urgent.

Her phone buzzed incessantly, spinning near the edge of the nightstand.

“How could you sleep this late!” Xu Shixi, seeing Yishu in her pajamas, let out a breath of relief. “I thought something had happened to you—your phone wouldn’t connect.”

Yishu, rubbing her heavy forehead, asked, “How did you know I lived in this building?”

“I searched every building, every unit, until I found you,” Xu Shixi replied, exasperated.

Yishu had never invited Xu Shixi upstairs. Every meeting and farewell had taken place at the gate of the complex—so often, even the security guard had nearly been moved by the persistence of this devoted suitor. She had always assumed he would leave after saying goodbye, but turning back, she’d find he lingered, waiting for the light by the stairwell to come on before he could rest easy.

“You have a fever!” Xu Shixi, seeing her pale and weak, pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“I’m fine. I have to go to work,” Yishu brushed his hand aside and headed back to the bedroom.

“You’re in this state and still want to work?” Shixi frowned. “Take the day off!”

“I can’t,” Yishu protested quickly.

I can’t take the day off. The shop’s business had only just gotten on track; this was her chance to prove herself. If she neglected the company’s interests now for a minor illness, someone else would surely step in to fill the gap. And that someone would be Guo Yamei.

Yishu was never one to repay evil with kindness—the most she could muster was a shred of mercy.

The hospital was never a cheerful place.

Bleak white walls, the sting of disinfectant, patients looking frail and sickly.

The emergency room was crowded, faces covered in blue and black masks, hacking coughs filling the air.

IV drips hung in tangled rows from hooks, clear fluid trickling slowly into bodies—as if these bottles were the last lifeline, and when the drip ended, so would life itself.

Xu Shixi watched Yishu, who was slumped in her chair, her illness making her pale, her weakened state lending her a fragile beauty.

He longed to kiss her.

But there were far too many people around. At that moment, Yishu drowsily opened her eyes.

“The doctor says you have an acute upper respiratory infection.” Xu Shixi sat down beside her, holding boxes of medicine from the pharmacy. “You need to rest and drink plenty of water. Take a few days off from work.”

“I can’t!” Yishu turned to him urgently. “I’m the only one at the shop. If I take time off, who’ll keep it running?”

“Isn’t there anyone else at your company?” Shixi asked, his expression darkening.

“No,” Yishu admitted, deflated. “If you don’t do your work, it’s not that someone else will cover for you—they’ll replace you entirely.”

Xu Shixi stared at her, feeling the distance grow between them, even while sitting side by side.

How could he possibly hold on to her?

“You don’t have to push yourself so hard,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “I can take care of you.”

“I know.” A faint smile flickered across Yishu’s face. “But that doesn’t stop me from being loyal to my work.”

They fell silent.

He wanted to say, I could care for you, even support you for a lifetime, so you’d never have to struggle. But he knew that, to Yishu, those words would only carry condescension and disrespect.

And Yishu, for her part, only wanted to stand at his side as the best version of herself, achieved through her own efforts.