Chapter Fifty-Nine — Journey Without Worries

When the elevator reached the nineteenth floor, Tang Dai brushed past Yishu, casting her a provocative look.

Yishu pursed her lips and ignored her. Seeing Tang Dai’s affected behavior reassured her about Xu Shixi even more.

Once the elevator doors closed, she turned to Xu Shixi and said, “Be careful on the road tomorrow. I can’t take time off, so I won’t be able to accompany you.”

Despite his disappointment, Xu Shixi couldn’t find it in himself to blame her when he looked into Yishu’s sparkling eyes. He took the bags of groceries from her hands, peering through them, “What delicious dish are you making tonight?”

“I’ll keep it a surprise,” Yishu replied with a gentle smile.

That night, Yishu searched online for the exact method to prepare dried vegetables with pork. This dish was a favorite of Yihui, too. Every time he returned from school, she would prepare it a day in advance. Since Yihui entered the rigorous study period for his college entrance exams, his visits home had grown less frequent, and Yishu gradually stopped making the dish. Now, she realized she couldn’t recall one or two steps.

Xu Shixi didn’t have a pressure cooker at home, so Yishu had to use the microwave as a substitute. During the preparation, fragments of forgotten memories seemed to return, bit by bit.

Xu Shixi was a native of Beijing. Although he had lived in Yuncheng for several years, he had only heard of this local specialty—never tasted it. Tonight, it was as if a whole new world opened up to him.

The aroma of the dish filled the entire apartment.

The unique pendant lights above the dining table sprinkled everything beneath with a layer of dreamy golden dust.

Xu Shixi picked out only the lean meat, avoiding the fatty pieces altogether. Yishu realized for the first time that he was a picky eater—how had she never noticed before? Watching the smile pile up on his face as he ate, a gentle warmth rose in her heart, like a sun blooming. It felt as if a light breeze was brushing through every vein, gradually dispersing the accumulated gloom.

“I won’t be here these next few days. Take good care of yourself,” Xu Shixi said, gazing at her. Bathed in golden light, he seemed to glow with a starlike radiance. “Remember to lock the door. Eat your meals on time.”

When Yishu was alone, she never paid much attention to her meals. Living by herself led naturally to a simplified life.

Before moving into Shixi’s apartment, Yishu often cooked just enough for lunch and dinner combined. On days off, she’d merge breakfast and lunch into one meal—brunch.

Hearing Xu Shixi’s reminders, Yishu couldn’t help but laugh. It was like a father nagging his daughter before a business trip, unable to stop himself.

“What’s so funny?” Xu Shixi frowned, feeling baffled. “I’m being serious.”

Yishu couldn’t stop smiling; her laughter was quiet, never boisterous. She had never forgotten to lock her door, and when it came to taking care of herself, she’d at least never let herself go hungry. In her twenties, she understood the meaning of life. Besides, now there was him—someone who needed her to face life with more positivity, to smile and live on.

“I just thought, you remind me so much of my mother.” At the mention of her mother, Yishu’s smile faded.

“Are you saying I’m too nagging?” Xu Shixi was amused and exasperated. “At least say I’m like your dad. Saying I’m like your mom—what’s that supposed to mean?”

Yishu’s smile vanished completely. Dad, father, papa, even the English word ‘father’—these titles corresponding to mother had always been absent from her life. To her, they were merely cold dictionary entries, part of the vast sea of words.

“I don’t have a father,” Yishu said expressionlessly. “And now, I don’t even have a mother.”

Xu Shixi suddenly understood. Yishu had always only mentioned her younger brother, Su Yihui, their mutual dependence. She occasionally spoke of her late mother, but never uttered a word about her father.

She never brought him up, and he never dared to ask.

Xu Shixi reached out and took her hand, as if transferring a warm energy to her.

Yishu revealed her porcelain-white teeth, breaking the awkwardness, and also telling him she had moved past her grief—the sun now hung high in the sky. “Where is your company going for the trip?”

“To Fujian,” Xu Shixi replied, relieved. “Xiao Ye planned the itinerary. We’re going to Xiamen, Longyan, and Zhangzhou.”

Longyan and Zhangzhou? Yishu’s fleeting envy quickly turned to disappointment. She remembered that two years ago, she, Yihui, and Yan Lu had gone to see an animated film in the cinema—the settings were nearly all taken from Fujian’s tulou, those ancient earthen dwellings. Enhanced by animation and fantasy, they seemed like true fairylands.

Yan Lu had clamored to go there in person. But their steps were bound by work, making it impossible to realize. Gradually, none of them expected or longed for it anymore. Some dreams are eventually crushed into dust in the air, floating up layer after layer; each time you cough, you inadvertently recall that impractical dream you once had.

“I just heard…” Tang Dai’s name was locked behind her teeth, poised at the moment of being spoken. Yishu paused at that thought-provoking juncture. “Tomorrow at eight at Yuncheng North Station?”

“Yes,” Xu Shixi replied cautiously. “I’ll leave a little after seven tomorrow, so I won’t be able to see you off to work.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Yishu felt both frustrated and bashful.

“What did you want to say then?” Could it be about Tang Dai? Xu Shixi felt the ground collapse beneath him, the chair under him trembling.

“Remember…” Yishu pondered aloud.

“I’ll remember!” Xu Shixi interrupted, rushing to answer before she could finish.

“Do you know what I was going to say?”

“I know,” he said, suddenly enlightened. “I’ll remember to think of you. I’ll call every night to check in, send WeChat messages during the day, so you always know what I’m up to.”

In fact, what Yishu wanted to say wasn’t for him to keep her constantly in his thoughts, to let her live in his heart, to have every beat of his heart and every pulse connected with her life.

But seeing his sincerity and earnestness, Yishu swallowed her words, letting them slide down her throat.

After dinner, Yishu went into Xu Shixi’s bedroom to help him pack for the trip. To her, this was part of her duty as a girlfriend staying over. But she didn’t feel burdened; instead, it felt like a sweet gift. Perhaps every passionate woman experiences this kind of silly, simple satisfaction.

Opening the wardrobe, she found a neat row of suits and shirts. Black, white, gray, indigo—four colors arranged monotonously. At the very front were two new sets of casual clothes. Xu Shixi liked to wear loose-fitting garments in his spare time. Earlier, Yishu had bought both him and Yihui several outfits online. Yihui always dressed simply, free from the common vanity and showiness of boys his age. Xu Shixi’s leisure life was even more ordinary; after work, if there were no social obligations, he went straight home and changed into loungewear. When out and about, he wore suits. When a person grows accustomed to a lifestyle, a taste, a style, it’s hard to change. Change takes time, and in modern life—where people squeeze time out of toothpaste tubes—who would willingly try so hard? Xu Shixi was no different.

Yishu took out the two sets of casual clothes, folded them, and put them in the suitcase. She opened the bottom drawer and grabbed a few pairs of shorts and socks. Her movements were practiced and smooth.

When she saw four brand-new pairs of underwear lying neatly in a corner of the suitcase, her ears burned. Preparing his intimate apparel, given their current relationship, seemed a bit too hasty.

She realized this belatedly.

“You’re so considerate,” Xu Shixi said, leaning close to her neck.

The natural warmth of a man, mingled with the scent of a recent shower, spread through the air without warning.

Yishu startled, all her tangled feelings turning into a wild pounding in her chest.

“I’ve almost finished packing. The rest is up to you,” she said, dodging his breath and heading straight for the door. “Get some sleep early.”

Watching her turn away, Xu Shixi felt a sudden impulse—to throw caution aside and pull her into his world, to become one with her. The thought flickered and then vanished. If he truly acted on it, there would be no future for them in this life. Not even in another.

Outside, the light rain had halted, as if obeying some command, stopping unnaturally. Looking out the window, the moonlight was beautiful. The clouds had shed their dark dyes and donned pure white garments. The pale, chilly yellow light of the moon spread across the clouds, painting patches of radiance behind them.

Tomorrow would surely be a fine day.