Chapter 83 — Lingering Fear

Several days of continuous rain.

The gray-white clouds pressed the sky low, like a sieve, letting fine rain leak through ceaselessly.

Su Yihui lingered at the entrance of Fragrant Garden for a long time, the aloof and solitary towers before him overwhelming him with their imposing presence. He took out his phone—the one Su Yishu had scrimped and saved to buy for him. Held in his palm, its weight felt so heavy it seemed it might snap his hand.

Past eight in the evening, groups of people began to come and go from Fragrant Garden, three or five at a time. Su Yihui stood under a folding umbrella, an inconspicuous figure among the crowd. He listened carefully to the raindrops tapping on his umbrella, their sound resonating. Walking beneath the trees, he watched rainwater trace the veins of leaves to their tips, beads of dew glistening like pearls. Sounds, large and small, like jade beads falling on a plate.

He kept watching the people entering and leaving, his phone clutched so tightly in his palm he almost crushed it.

In the depressions of the pavement bricks, muddy water had pooled halfway—he wondered if any living creatures swam within.

“Su Yihui?” came an uncertain voice from afar.

He turned and saw a pair of large feet in black, white, and blue sneakers striding confidently toward him. He raised his umbrella, lifting it above his head, his gaze traveling from the feet, legs, torso, neck, chin, lips, up to the nose.

It was Tang Chao! In surprise, he lowered the umbrella, shutting off their line of sight, then turned away as if nothing had happened.

A car sped by on the road, flinging the net of rain behind it with ruthless abandon.

“I was calling you, why didn’t you answer!” Tang Chao yanked open Su Yihui’s umbrella. “Are you deaf?”

There was no avoiding it now. Su Yihui glanced one last time at the camphor tree across the street, its leaves strewn chaotically upon the ground, washed by the rain. “I…I didn’t hear.”

His face was expressionless; he couldn’t muster any expression. Smiling, anger, tears—any emotion seemed strange when applied to him.

“Didn’t hear? Who are you kidding!” Tang Chao craned his neck, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Come on, let’s go inside.” He was unusually gentle with Su Yihui; gone was the old urge to bully him upon first sight. He slung an arm around his neck, as if they were brothers reunited after years apart.

“What are you doing?” Su Yihui raised his hand to pry away the burning-hot arm, startled enough to take a step back. Over a year, more than four hundred piercing glares had inflicted torture upon him, leaving him bloodied and battered.

“What do you mean, what am I doing? What could I possibly do to you?” Tang Chao’s brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at Su Yihui’s timid demeanor. For a moment, fragments rose in his mind, pieces of memory he’d rather not face.

It’s hard for people to admit their mistakes, let alone their faults.

“No need to be so afraid of me, I won’t eat you alive.” Tang Chao cautiously approached, as if afraid to frighten a little bird pecking at the roadside. “You’re here to see Yishu, right? I’ll take you in.”

Does he live here too? How did he know I came to see my sister? He calls her by name, and his attitude has changed so suddenly? Countless questions surged forth, forming a giant whirlpool around Su Yihui, as if he were being sucked into the depths, suffocating, drowning.

Su Yihui nodded, taking a tentative step forward, then hesitated.

Tang Chao walked a few meters ahead, sensing no presence behind him, turned and shouted, “Why are you just standing there? Hurry up! Without a resident’s help, you can’t get in.”

Su Yihui nodded blankly, moving forward in hesitant disbelief.

After the security guard confirmed their identities, they were let through.

Su Yihui was awed by the grandeur of Fragrant Garden—buildings like these were rare in Cloud City. He took a deep breath and followed Tang Chao down a pebble-stone path toward the residential district.

Tang Chao pressed the elevator button and entered, noticing Su Yihui standing two meters outside the elevator doors. He signaled with his eyes to the opposite side.

“Come in already.” He held the elevator button, preventing the doors from closing. “It’s the twentieth floor—are you planning to walk up?”

A few men and women behind Tang Chao pursed their lips impatiently, their heads swaying as they muttered under their breath.

Su Yihui clutched his umbrella, rainwater pooling in his palm, seeping into his skin with a chilling sting.

The cramped elevator felt damp and oppressive. Su Yihui stood ahead of Tang Chao, half a head shorter. As he exhaled, his breath brushed against several tufts of Tang Chao’s hair.

A prickling discomfort spread from his crown down his body.

The elevator stopped at the eighth, eleventh, and sixteenth floors. From the seventeenth to the twentieth, only Su Yihui and Tang Chao remained. Su Yihui retreated to the edge, his eyes fixed on the floor indicator above.

After stepping out, he obediently moved aside, letting Tang Chao lead.

“We’re here,” Tang Chao turned halfway, pointing at the door number. “It’s this one.”

“I’ll knock for you,” Tang Chao volunteered.

Did knocking require help? Su Yihui couldn’t fathom what Tang Chao was up to. Still, heightened vigilance could never be wrong.

Tang Chao knocked several times. No one answered. He pressed his ear against the door, listening for sounds within. Whether the door was too thick or simply empty inside, not even a whisper emerged.

The corridor was brightly lit, as if it were daytime.

Su Yihui’s WeChat notification shattered the silence.

He checked his phone—it was a message from Cheng Shuguang.

Of course—who else would send him a message? The thought brought a strange sourness to his heart.

—How did it go? Did your sister scold you?

Cheng Shuguang, taking advantage of a lull after customers finished ordering, quickly picked up his phone and typed furiously on the virtual keyboard.

In fact, he’d originally wanted to accompany Su Yihui to Fragrant Garden to see Su Yishu, to express his thoughts and desires face to face. Failing to gain his parents’ approval, he hoped at least for the permission of his beloved’s family.

Humans are strange creatures, often building their own weakness upon another’s strength.

Many times, Su Yihui overheard Cheng Shuguang’s phone conversations with his father. He hid in a shadowy corner, standing at the border between light and dark, competing to see who could conceal themselves best. In the darkness, they couldn’t see each other—not even a blurry silhouette.

Su Yihui had refused Cheng Shuguang’s offer to accompany him. To his mind, some dilemmas must be broken face to face—having a third person present would sap his resolve, at the very least, diminish it.

At some point, he realized he’d grown accustomed to hiding behind Cheng Shuguang, avoiding all storms, rumors, and insults that swept in. It seemed a kind of hard-won happiness, yet in truth, was a retreat of the soul. If one day the towering wall in the yard collapsed suddenly, how long could the ferns and moss clinging to it survive under the relentless sun?

Su Yihui understood deeply—he was like those ferns and moss, dwelling in darkness and dampness, while Cheng Shuguang was his wall. He could reject the sunlight, shun warmth, but he had to create his own shade to endure.

Some people are simply not suited for sunshine.

Standing beneath the bright lights, Su Yihui found it hard to adjust. He rested his umbrella against the wall, lest it fall to the floor.

—She’s not home. I’ll wait here for her.

“Is that Yishu?” Tang Chao asked urgently, hearing the sound.

Su Yihui glanced at him, shook his head, and quickly lowered his gaze.

Not Yishu—he was disappointed.

Su Yihui paid no mind to Tang Chao’s affectionate use of his sister’s name. The carefully prepared conversation he’d rehearsed all day was out of order now, and that was the pressing matter.

—Should I come pick you up?

—No need. I’ll take the bus back myself.

He knew the tea restaurant had just transitioned from busy to idle, with a mountain of tables, chairs, and dishes to tidy. Cheng Shuguang was already working hard; Su Yihui didn’t want him to worry further.

“Who are you messaging?” Tang Chao’s curiosity was surprisingly strong. “Is it your boyfriend?”

Su Yihui froze, tension straining his body, his phone nearly slipping from his sweat-drenched palm. The more one tries to hide something, the more it cannot be hidden.

He tightened his grip on the phone, transferring his anxiety and fear onto it.

“What’s wrong?” Tang Chao pressed, his concern oddly intense. “Did I hit the mark?”

Silence—no one would think him mute for not speaking. Su Yihui remained with his head lowered, wordless. He’d witnessed Tang Chao’s methods more than once; the memory lingered, impossible to forget.

Seeing Su Yihui’s mute refusal, and with Yishu still nowhere in sight, Tang Chao grew bored. Remembering Tang Dai was still in the hospital waiting for a change of clothes, he decided not to linger.

When Tang Chao left, Su Yihui’s heart, suspended on the tolling of morning and evening bells, finally settled back to earth.